"But you're too friendly to have Social Anxiety!"

I heard that the other day. And I guess it's kind of true. But then again, she doesn't have the "Care and Feeding of a Meari Handbook." And I should also note, I've never been officially diagnosed with anything... those are just labels (social anxiety and depression) I use to describe what I'm feeling.. since they are pretty close.

The biggest battle that I fight at times is simply getting out of the house. And to describe it, let me borrow the Spoon Theory (my apologies to anyone this offends):

Most day, I am perfectly fine. I have a routine. I know what I'm doing. But then new things come along. If I'm going out someplace new, you can halve my available spoons. If I'm going alone, take away 3/4 of them. You can take more away if it's a new place involving a new situation.

There are times I also have issues with people. In these new situations, new places, if I have to interact with a bunch of new people you can take away a spoon for every person I talk to.

And if it's that special time, and the depression is settling in, you can take away a huge amount of spoons too.

Heaven forbid if it's a busy time where I have new place/situation after new place/situation. By the end of it I can't even open my door, let alone walk through it.

But there is a flip side: with people, places and situations I'm familiar with? I'm perfectly fine.

I know it's confusing. And I'm sorry about that.