The Baby Boom!

It seems that most of my friends have been divided into two camps: the mothers of young ones, and the childless (or, have children that are of High School age).

It hit me yesterday that I am starting to miss the old times.  The times before bedtimes, bath times and family time.  Unfortunately, we can't turn back the clock.  I have to accept that things change.

Now, I'm not anti-child.  If you have children because that's what you want and desire.  Wonderful!  Mazel Tov!  If you are pregnant and that's not where you want to be.. let me know how I can help resolve that situation.  I'm not judging.

I appreciate the invites to the large family gatherings, the birthday parties, the baby showers.  But please don't be offended if I leave early, or politely decline.  Large groups of small children send me into panic attacks.  (Actually, I'm amazed that I'm as composed as I am around my BFF's toddler, considering I had a panic attack before her baby shower).  I really appreciate it when I'm asked if I mind the child be brought along for shopping trips.  I love that it's not assumed.

I'm feeling nostalgic and sad today.  I'll get better.  Maybe I'll see if the girls want to go out for drinks.  So I can get over myself and my over-active imagination.

God vs. Gay?

Last night we attended a lecture by author Jay Michaelson, about his book God vs. Gay? The Religious Case for Equality.

It was fascinating.  It also reinforced some of my own beliefs, mainly that the bible an be interpreted in many, many ways.  The same verses may have different meanings depending on context, historical events, translations or the reader's own agenda and can we please stop beating people over the head with them.

That got me thinking.  What are my views on all of this?

1.) Most of the absolutes that we take for granted in the Bible, like "thou shall not kill," aren't that absolute.  War and justifiable homicide are mentioned right after those commandments are laid out.  We know that the bible contradicts itself all over the place.

2.) The bible is a translation of a translation.  It's also an anthology.  It's historical fact that King James bible wasn't translated to be correct.  "James gave the translators instructions intended to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its belief in an ordained clergy."  The translation had an agenda.

3.) I can't accept a God that would want gay people to live without fuffilling committed relationships.  I won't accept it.  I don't want anything to do with a God that's more like a strict school Headmaster than a loving parent.

4.) And Jesus.  You know, Jesus said not one thing about gay people. As Eddie Izzard said: “‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy..."

Do I consider myself a Christian?  Not really.  I refuse to associate myself with the vocal group.  The ones that get all the press.  I believe in a higher power.  I believe that Jesus had some really good ideas.  I also believe that too few are living up to them.  The two I wish everyone would live up to:

Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

Matthew 7:12 "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets."

I know I've said this before.  But I think it bears repeating.

Really? a 30 day waiting period?

I had a consultation with a new doctor about getting my tubes tied.  Yes people, I have decided that I shall have no genetic offspring.  I decided on the surgery option, instead of the Essure option.  (It's not recommended for women that haven't had kids)

I had to sign paperwork, that acknowledges that I will be sterile, and it's not reversible.  The doctor laughed at my "are you serious?" face.  Apparently the state wants me to be REALLY sure that I want this one.  Hell yes I'm really sure!  I've been wanting this for a few years.

So now we're looking at an after commencement scenario.  (I work at a college, you know.  I'll be REALLY busy until commencement)  I'll also be looking for someone to bring me home from the hospital.  My mom's offered to come down for the weekend.

I'm nervous about this, not about the becoming sterile, but about the surgery part.  But I'm ready.

I'm just a girl who can't say no...

This weekend I loaded the last bits of my teaching career into my car to take to my friend's house.  On the way out, my nosy neighbors stopped me to ask what I had.

Somehow in that conversation I agreed to tutor their 11 year old.  I told her that I'd come by today at 6, because honestly today is the only day this week I have free.

What was I thinking??  I can't tutor!  I don't want to!  I want to have my nights free.  I especially don't want to tutor for someone that can't pay.

*sigh*  Tonight I put on my big girl pants and tell them that after consideration, I can't tutor.

I should have said no in the first place.

I'm SO over this being sick thing!!

Seriously!

So, I took myself to the doctor yesterday.  Something inside of me is infected.  They don't know what.  It's not my ears, or throat or sinuses.  We all doubt it's my teeth, since my teeth don't hurt.  But it's the glands in my neck, and under my jaw that are swollen and tender.

Sigh.....

I'm again on a pretty powerful antibiotic.  You know, the kind that kill all the bacteria (good, bad, indifferent).

This all leave me wondering 2 things:

1. What weird illness will April bring?
2. Will we need to hire Dr. House?

All too soon, it was Monday again.

My weekend was fun, busy and way too short. Saturday morning we ventured to Norfolk to go to the zoo. The zoo isn't huge, but it's nice. We went to a party later on that evening.

The interesting part of the weekend happened on Sunday. I woke up just not feeling well. No, I wasn't hung over. I didn't drink the night before. We went grocery shopping and settled into the house for the day.

It was then that I discovered why I wasn't feeling all that hot. The lymph node and other assorted things on the right side of my neck (just under my jaw) were all swollen and painful. Why? I have no idea. I know things like that generally swell when your body is fighting something.. so I'm taking it easy. Need to help my body do what it needs to do.

Today I'm going to work from home (don't want to spread whatever I have), and rest. And pray that it helps. I don't want to go to the doctor again!

I'm not ready for summer yet.

The temperature today is supposed to be 84.  Seriously!  84!!

We had yet another department breakfast that left me scrambling and running around.  It's very hard to dress to impress when you're melting from the humidity.  And all before 10am.

Yesterday was my Weight Watchers meeting.  I lost a little over a pound, which is my weekly goal.  But it made me a little sad.

My total weight loss, according to the WW people is 9.4 pounds.  That's not too shabby, but considering that I was up to 16 pounds before I had the asthma attack from hell, and was put on Prednisone.. it makes me a little sad.

But it's ok.  I know that the weight gain wasn't due to me hugely falling off the wagon.  It's mainly the drugs fault.  So I carry on.  I walk where I can (especially on campus).  I keep trying to portion my food, and eat smartly.  I know that people love me just the way I am... but my doctors will love me more when I'm healthier.