No man is an island

I think we can agree that I've not had the best 2017 so far.  And yesterday I had a pretty bad day.

Actually, my bad day started at 4:30, right before I got ready to go home.  The fact that many of my job tasks (things not part of the current job description, but have to be done until we hire someone) still are a mystery to me really got me down.  I hit an extreme point of frustration at not knowing how to do this job that has been thrust upon me.

So in that awful black mood, I headed home and burst into tears.  I was frustrated at my job.  I was feeling lonely and forgotten.  I cried and screamed.

Then I realized something.

My new gyno put me on Medroxyprogesterone for a week to jump start my cycle.  After the cycle is jumpstarted, I then get to go on birth control.  (I know.... my tubes are tied.. but apparently when you don't have a period and you should be having one.. you could get cancer.  I seriously don't want cancer!)

I looked it up last night.  Medroxyprogesterone is a fertility drug.  It's basically PMS is a bottle.

Oh yay!!

So like a kidney stone, this too shall pass.

And then I saw this on Facebook:

All I can say is yes.  100% yes.  As I sat sobbing on the kitchen floor, I vowed to never speak to my friends again.  In my hormonal stupor I was convinced that they didn't need a shit-show like me in their lives and they were better off without me.  Just like Oliver Queen does every few episodes on Arrow, I thought everyone would be safer without me around.

Say that it's not true all you want, but in that moment of existential crisis it was true to me.  (Even Oliver got that message this week.. from Malcolm Merlyn of all people!)

No man is an island.  You need meaningful relationships in your life.  And your friends want you around, the depression (or hormonal miasma) is lying to you.

This is to the friends:  if you haven't heard or seen someone in ages, send them a message.  They might be too scared of rejection to initiate contact.