What a long, strange trip this is

I've been at my current job for 6 years.  For five of them my coworker had been going to chemotherapy and away for periods both long and short.  For the last year my worst fear was that one day she'd leave, leaving me to pick up the work-pieces.

That happened last month.  She passed, after letting things slide for two months.  She passed, and left me to pick up the work-pieces.  My worst fear came true.

I think in the last few weeks I think I've called every department on campus asking about outstanding paperwork or if money has already been requested.  I've run up against things that I don't know how to do.  I've run up against things that multiple departments don't know how to do.  I've spent a lot of the last few weeks feeling dumb.  I've spent the last few weeks thinking that I'm close to being caught up and remembering a pile of undone tasks.

Frankly, I'm surprised that I haven't decided to say "screw it all" and have a cake for dinner. I deserve a medal for all of that willpower.  I'm even managing to work out almost every morning!

I know that eventually this will end.  Eventually the fiscal year will end, wiping the slate clean.  Eventually we'll hire someone to take over the extra tasks that I have to do.

Thankfully, the panic attacks aren't as frequent.  I no longer want to spend weekends in a blanket fort.  (Well, most weekends anyways..)

Can I got to Disney World yet?