*headdesk* and so it starts

I got a call today asking to speak to a professor.  It went thusly:

Caller:  Can I talk to Prof. Such&such

Me:  She doesn't have a phone in her office.  You can email her, or I can email her your message.

Caller:  Oh, I can.  But... if she doesn't have a phone, who am I to contact her other than stopping by her office, and emailing?

Oh, what I wanted to say!!  If you can't email or stop by you can:

• use smoke signals
• use signal flags
• use a carrier pigeon
• Send an Owl from Hogwarts
• Telepathy

My god!!  Why is this so difficult a concept??  You can't call.  you can leave a note or email!!  Only 2 options!!