Crushing Existential Dread

 I've not been in the best of places over the last few days.  

Why?  

• Classes are starting next week.  2 weeks early
• Classes are taking places online and in weird places around campus
• Every. Single. Email. that campus comes out with has a new portent of disaster (salary reductions and furloughs have been mentioned)
• I have a million problems and not a single damn easy solution in the bunch!
• I have to do manual labor at work.  In a mask!  Which sucks!
• My house is a mess but I don't have the mental capacity to even deal with it!
• I feel like there's something awful on the horizon (losing my job, getting sick, death) but I don't know when or where it'll strike.
• My downstairs toilet doesn't like flushing anymore
• The daily thunderstorm is a nice touch....
• Oh, and it's hurricane season.. so that's fun!

My normal coping mechanisms generally require people.. and can't be done in the wake of a pandemic.  I feel like I'm about to cry. But the tears never come.

I also know that by the end of next week most of my stressors will be taken care of, and things will get easier.

In other news, I was thinking of starting a YouTube channel.  I wonder if anyone would subscribe?

Clean All The Things

 At the beginning of the pandemic, we were all sent home to telework.  I, like many others vowed that at the end, when we all emerged form our homes, a little overweight and pale, I'd have a clean house!

Do I?  

Nope!  I was bogged down in massive anxiety, and instead ignored the mess around me.  Seriously, everything that I've worn during the pandemic exists clean in laundry baskets.  I haven't put a damn thing away!

On top of that, the house needs dusting, and just a general picking up!  My day lacked the routine and structure of going into the office, so I let it all pile up.  I hated myself for doing it, but I also couldn't seem to get up and get it done either.

So I went back to an old method.  FlyLady.  

One day I'd had enough and went back to the website.  If you've never been there, it's all about how to gradually get your home in order, and setting a structure to keep it there.  I took her method, and customized it to what this house needed.

Have I been following it?  I started out, and immediately fell off the wagon.  But Monday is another day, and I'll start fresh in Zone 1.

Until then, I'm going to make a list to do this weekend.  

• Put away 1 basket of clothes
• Clean up my kitchen
• do 2 things kitchen cleaning-wise from last week's to do list
• Meal plan for the week
• not cleaning related- actually do my long run tomorrow

Let's see if I can get it done?

Anyone else feel overwhelmed by a messy house?