Hazy shade of winter

I have been in my new, current job for a week now. Things are slowly starting. You know how it is in the information age.. you have to wait to be granted access to various and sundry programs. My life has been very "hurry up and wait".

We're in a severe money crunch this month. You all know how it goes, it takes a while for the money to catch up with you.

It's intersecting, as I am allowed to do more of my duties, I'm given small projects to do. It's mindless.

But more and more I feel like I'm living a lie. I wait for my car to be repossessed, to be fired from my job and to be evicted from my apartment.

I know, it's silly. But I am waiting to see if this all is truly too good to be true.

All by myself....

Well, here at work. It's day two and because of appointments, tennis lessons and all, I'm here alone. But it's not like I can do any work. I need access to different places, programs and computers... which I'm not getting yet.

I sat through hours of talks about benefits and tax shelters and pre-aid medical things. It's all a lot to take in. Tonight's dilemma: which health plan, and if I should get the flexible medical thingy (it looks like a lot of hoops to jump through).

I've started cleaning out my new desk. The old occupant left so much junk behind! But I feel settled, and hopefully I'll fit in well here.

Actually, I received the best compliment today from the incoming department chair. She said they loved my enthuaisiam and my self-starter attitude. Wow... a lot to live up to.

Now, to self start in probably the one task I CAN do today.

One of those days

I spent my last day of work today, the new job starts tomorrow. I left at lunch. Then it went downhill:

• I forgot about traffic court on Friday, which means no funeral.
• Traffic court will be all sorts of un-fun. And it's all my fault
  
• I have to wait until first thing Saturday morning to get the car work done.
• It'll be over a hundred dollars to get my parking pass at work. And they don't even pay me for a month!!

I'm done. It's Disney movies for me tonight. They have happy endings.

TGIF!

Tuesday marks the beginning of the next phase of my life: the start of the new job. I also will put my old job on pause for a few weeks during the transition.

I think I need to get used to getting up early. When the old job phases back in, I'm looking at getting there between 6 and 6:30 in the morning. I thought that next week I'd try to get up and work out in the morning next week...

It'll help me get used to getting up early, and get my workout in!

Let's see how well it works.

I'm Over the Hill

I realized today that I'll be 37 this year. Close to 40.

What do I have to show for my life? I have student loans I can't pay... loans that financed an education that I'm not using. I spent seven years as a sub, and four years as a teacher. It took me eleven years to decide that I'm a crap teacher. I spent over a decade with a man, before realizing that no matter how much I tried, I wasn't happy and the marriage wouldn't work.

I feel like I wasted my 30's.

I'm now 36 and starting at the bottom. I'm starting a job as a secretary. I'm considering using the job benefits to get a new degree. I have a new relationship.

Starting over is hard. But I wonder if I'm too old. Though, there's no stopping now: the job is a go, and I'm not getting out of my relationship. (I love the Spousal Equivalent too much).

What is I fail? Can I start over again at 46?

When did I get so darn busy??

I looked at my calender for the rest of the month and was astonished at how busy I am in the next few weeks. I had a meeting yesterday, Wednesday is ballet, Thursday is ChorUUS, And I have meetings the next two weekends for a local Convention I'm helping with.

It's hard to be a supporting player after being the lead. In Con terms... after running a convention, it's really hard to step back and be one of the minions. This convention is rather expensive. Like prohibitively expensive, and I can't figure out why. I know that supplies have to be purchased, plus printing cost, staff shirts and paying the presenters.... but still... I'm DYING to find out if they secured a room block to get a sliding scale for the meeting rooms...

I know... that was the geekiest thing ever. I will try to stop!

In other news, I'm having HUGE guilt this week. My friend's funeral is next Friday... which happens to be the end of my first work week. I really can't ask for a half day off that early. Because of that I'm letting him, and my other friends down. There's so much guilt, hurt and anger about the whole situation (of soap opera proportions)... I can't even process it.

And while I'm on the subject of lunch...

I've blogged a lot about eating healthier. The one hard thing about eating healthier: it is expensive. One thing that I want to do once we make some extra money is to eat more locally. There are some local places that can help with that. Maybe I'll start with the farmer's market and go from there.

Anyone local want to check these places out with me?

There is the grow your own option... but since I have no yard, and a black thumb... I don't think that's an option for me.

T minus 8 days!

Today we're washing massive amounts of work clothes in anticipation of a new work week. It's nice having the extra day to get the stockpile done.

I have the rest of this week to try to get a new set of routines established, since between the new job, and OT from the old one, I won't get home overly early.

One thing I want to do over the next month is to hit the thrift stores, to see if I can round out the professional wardrobe. I want to look at bags too! I know... I'm a purse addict, but I promised myself that when I got the nice new full-time job that I'd get myself a nice work tote, like the ones at Target. Maybe the thrift stores have similar items for less?

Anyways, off to do more laundry!

I guess I have work to do!

So, unless we completely run out of money, it looks like I'm going home for the Marching Band Reunion. It's Memorial Day weekend.

This means that I need to get my rear in gear! As much as I'd like to lose that 50 pounds, that's rather unrealistic. So my focus is going to be on achievable goals.

• Eat a healthy breakfast every day
• Eat my packed lunch at work, no buying snacks.
• Keep the snacks at home healthy.
• Work out 3-5 days a week for at least 30 minutes at a time.
  

Mission: Clean the Apartment, day 2

Well, yesterday was grocery shopping and washing underwear. (trust me, it was needed)

Today is: Work, then a field trip, then a quick trip to Wal Mart (and maybe Trader Joes), and hopefully some more laundry

And in a side note, a friend of mine passed away on Thursday. Reading between the lines, it looks like suicide.

I don't know what haunted him so, but I do know that when I was in my darkest hour, he was there. We all caravaned home from my house when I left my husband. He sat in my car and held my hand while I drove. We'll miss you JD.

Weekend Plans, that aren't so fun.

It's been cold and dreary here. That spells just not wanting to do anything! It's now come to a head. That spells cleaning all weekend (over the long weekend).

I have a few laundry hampers in the dinning room, waiting to be washed, and two tables that need to be decluttered. It's not huge, but needs to be done.

Why the urgency? We have a mouse. In our defense, we have a cat that is an excellent mouser. But if we declutter, she can do her job easier!

So that means, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, work and a field trip. Not a bad weekend.

I have found my dream home!

Well, I've never seen the inside, but I can put the house where ever I want!

Let me explain. I live down the road from a Manufactured Home dealership. I pass by this house every day. It's not much of a fantasy. This house, a bit of land, and a nice fence in the back (so the dog can't escape).

Most times my dream home is a house (townhouse, apartment, whatever) that I'm not living in fear of being kicked out of. That we'll have enough money to not stress about rent.

It'll be decades before we can buy anything, but I can dream.

Insurance

When faced with the prospect having insurance again, I started to ponder what I would do with it. Well, yes, being able to go to the doctor without taking out a loan first is always a good thing.

• I need to glasses. Mine have chew marks from when Misty was a puppy.
• Going back to my Gyno. The guy at the clinic called me morbidly obese. Yes, I'm heavy, but it's not like you need a crane to lift me.
• With the family history of skin cancer, and deathly pale skin, I probably should be seeing a dermatologist regularly.

I don't want to be a statistic. A person that has to suffer an expensive cure because the cheaper maintenance wasn't done. it's true with both cars and people.

Horrible timing!!

We all know that part of the eating well is having a good breakfast. I'm doing that, with help of oatmeal.

Now I need to move on to lunch. I've been try to get a new lunch bag by eating Lean Cuisine, but it's not enough. If I had some money, I think I'd get yogurt or an apple or something.

Unfortunately, thanks to the Spousal Equivalent blowing a tire (again), money is incredibly tight this week. No yogurt for me. In fact, it's Ramen for a few days.

Actually, it might be Ramen for a few weeks. I just realized something. I start the 25th... and don't get paid until mid February. Thankfully I can work my current job after work to make some money on the side.

I have a new breakfast plan, the beginnings of a lunch plan, now I need to work on dinner, and trying to fit in exercise with the two jobs.

I have guilty pleasures and deep thoughts

Well, obviously. Doesn't everyone? I love watching bad television. Reality television (I am picky about it), and teeny-aimed shows (most of them are on ABC Family). I know. It's terrible! I shall hang my head in shame for a moment.

I had Greek in Hulu this morning (Another guilty pleasure). It's shows like that, that make me wonder how my life would have been different if I was in a Sorority (they weren't allowed on campus). According to the hype, being Greek is all about sisterhood/brotherhood. I've had a lot of friends come in and go out of my life. I've been hurt by many of these friends as they left.

Plus, the idea of that wonderful networking isn't half bad either.

Maybe I'm feeling nostalgic for College, when life was simpler.

I don't know. I think I'm just looking for unconditional acceptance, though I don't know why. I have a wonderful set of friends that accept me.

Maybe it's the letters.

They say the neon lights are bright..

I'm a geek. A multifaceted geek.

I am a HUGE Musical Theater Geek. I've seen very few shows on Broadway... or even when the Broadway show tours stop by (who has that kind of money?). But I love it. As a kid, I waited around all year for the Tony Awards, where the best of the best would be broadcast live into my living room.

One of the reasons that I love Glee so much is that it draws its talent from Broadway. These are amazingly talented people that the world should know. I'm hoping that they'll continue this trend. Well, I'm hoping for purely selfish reasons. As the Broadway stars become more recognizable, they might have the Hollywood clout to get more musicals on the screen.

And now, back to Rent.

Sunday, Lazy Sunday

Today was the only day of the week that I can sleep in, and I did. Until 8. I know, I know, 8 isn't exactly early. But when you get up at 5:30... 8 is sleeping in.

Last night the Spousal Equivalent and I went out to be social. We had a wonderful time. It's amazing how a nice dress and ridiculous boots can lift your spirit. I can't get myself moving this morning. I managed to wash dishes and fill out all of the tax forms for the new job. I must admit that I spent a great deal of time on the benefits site, looking at the cool discounts being a College employee gets.

I'm now watching Julie & Julia. Now that's a real blogger. I just write boring things about my life. For example, my plans today: I'm going to gather some laundry, wash it, toss out some of the things I removed from my Best Friend's house (I haven't needed it for over a year, do I really need it now?).

Wow, the exciting life I lead.

I have employment!

I've been looking for a full time job since February 2009, and have been unemployed, or underemployed since June of 2009. But the search is over.

After thousands of resumes, and dozens of interviews I've been offered full time employment.

The celebrating will commence in ten minutes.

Back to work again

It's January, which means it's time for the frivolity of the holiday season is over. It also means the office's move is over. We're in our new room. set in a corner, away from it all. I'm ok with this. People know where we are and we're checked on regularly.

Before the winter break, I interviewed with William and Mary for a position. Now, while I wait to hear about that one, I received a call about interviewing for another position. It gives me hope that I could have a full time position soon.

The healthy eating and exercise portion of my life was put on hold yesterday. I'm not feeling so hot, but I'm sure that last night's dinner of saltines wasn't healthy. (And don't giggle about morning sickness... there's no way that could have happened).

So life continues on, work, cleaning, applying for jobs.