I've hit a whole new bottom

I'm now the fattest I've ever been. I need to change. To do something.

I'm not fit to be seen in public at this weight.

I can't do anything right. I can't keep my house clean. I can't lose weight. I can't get a damn job.

Worthless.

It's Friday...

I'm back at work.. which feels odd... Yesterday felt like Friday.

I'm in allergy Hell today. Between musty, moldy carpets in the apartment... and cat dander... my eyes are all swollen and red.

We've been cleaningcleaningcleaning. The Spousal Equivalent's mom is visiting next week, so we need to get the apartment in order. In addition to that, we have to get all of our crap out of storage and find places for it. Most of my stuff is getting thrown away. After sitting in a garage for over a year... I don't need it.. so it goes. The SE's stuff is finding homes.

We're hosting game this weekend... which means that early tomorrow we're airing the place out, fabreezing it and vacuuming. I'm hoping that with a little bit of pain.. I might have itchy free eyes tomorrow!

So much to do... so little time to do it!!

God is on Facebook

maybe not God, but The Powers That Be are.

A week ago, I made a public plea to God (Or TPTB) to help me find a job. I've been looking (with little success) for a year and a half, and hope is quickly fading.

Well... it worked.

• Thursday I had an interview with CTR group (a staffing agency) that was recruiting a Receptionist/Admin Assistant for a company in Yorktown. I LOVE the salary ($35- $45K) and benefits package, and the woman I spoke to seemed to like me. Now I wait to hear back from the Comapy
• Friday I got a call from Don Richards Associates (Temp Agency) that is hiring a temp to perm Administrative Assistant position for somewhere in Newport News. The interview is Today.
• Tomorrow I'm going to Sylvan Learning Center to talk to someone about after school tutoring. I can only do that if I stay with the job I'm in now.
• Wednesday I have a second interview for a Secretarial Position ($20-$25K) at CNU. I was SHOCKED to get this call, after the disastrous phone interview I had, but they must like me.

I'm trying not to get to optimistic about this. If I get excited, and none of these jobs pan out, It'll lead to depression. I've done it before.

But I have hope.

Update...

I battle PMDD.. have since college. But lately the 3 days of crushing depression have spread out to a month. People say that I need to see a doctor.. but with no insurance and no money, it's hard.

I'm taking steps to get myself back to normal. I got back on birth control. It helped last time... hopefully it'll help again. I need to get some regular exercise (I'm hoping to work out this evening after I get the rent money together). I also need to get a bottle of St. John's Wort. (an herbal anti-depressant).

let's hope that it works.